Virgin Bloody Mary

So, I'm not going to say I haven't had any beer. That would be lying. I have. It got me drunk quick too. I feel full and satisfied with all this juice, but my beer is my medication. A physician wouldn't deny his patients his meds while he's on a fast, come on! I'm having to stick to a strict regiment to keep this whole thing going. I had two beers while watching the giants play on day 1. Then on day 2, an invite presented itself to go out to dinner. I brought juice and ordered a beer while I watched her eat pizza in front of me. Last night the giants played as well, so beer was in order. These discretionary measures I have taken during the course of my journey have been what I thought was best. We should always do what we think is best, dogma be damned.

Tonight however, I am going to refrain from my medication and simply have a virgin bloody mary. The thought was presented by a colleague of mine who just finished seven weeks of cleansing (Who-Ray Angeline!). She sent a few interesting recipes my way that were her favorites. I haven't done any recipes exactly, mostly winging it. There ain't rules you know. Looking at recipes are always good though, especially if your trying to bake something and want bread to rise. So I took a look at hers.

Bloody Caesar (tastes like a yummy virgin bloody Mary!)
Ingredients:
1 large tomato
1/2 green bell pepper
1 celery stalk
1 clove garlic
2 carrots
1 teaspoon Worcestershire
Splash Tabasco or tapitio

My ingredients looked like this.

Essentially a pile of tomatoes, a bunch of celery, a bundle of cilantro, a bag of green beans, and I wish I had a pepper to make it spicy but I didn't. I refused to add Worcestershire or tapatio. If I start down the condiment path now, who knows where it will lead. Some lines are meant to be crossed, others are not.

I did not eat the stalk of chard. A plain garnish used to stir the juice, as it can separate readily.

Day 4. Juice is good for you.

Juice fills the body with nutrients. Instead of trying to consume a bucket of vegetables, you suck out their essence. Like how corporations devour the souls of young college graduates. You can consume a truck load of vegetables in a matter of days by avoiding all the fiber. Less calories per intake, means drinking frequently and regularly. There are an abundance of nutrients out there to consume via vegetables. And no matter what people tell you about B-12 and the likes of nutrient deficiencies, its all propaganda and lies. Its best not to trust anyone who has a desire to break plants down into their constituent parts, measure them, calculate their values, gauge their effectiveness, belittle their completeness. Its like eating a bunch of vitamin C pills, you end up just pissing it right out. Plants, and their Juice essence, can provide a digestible banquet of all those numbers and letters on the side of a box of “food”. My favorite analogy, although it doesn't involve vegetables, is non fat milk or lean meat. In order to digest the protein, you need to burn readily available calories. Do you really think your gut just pulls the fat from your ass to break down the protein? Fuck no! Nothing breaks down, it turns indigestible and screws up the works. Nutritionists don't know shit and create propaganda to sell the industries products to the masses.

I've drank juice for a long time, enjoying the high it gives. The high it gives from energy and the belief I hold of it filling me with health and vigor. Belief is a powerful thing, like a placebo, but with real medicine, the belief focuses and empowers the medicines effectiveness. I watched a movie on Hulu.com titled Fat Sick and Nearly Dead. Its in the documentary section of Hulu and is free to watch. It has a powerful twist at the end with the introduced characters, and shows how pharmaceuticals are ineffective and complete bullshit. You should watch it. Really.

My third day went well, I did some chores, drove around, shot some guns, watched the giants, a fairly normal day. Taking advantage of not spending money on booze and dining out, I have been buying a wide assortment of produce. Up next for juicing will be tomatoes, peppers, onions, and parsley for a make-shift virgin mary. Exciting. I'll post pictures soon.

The Process

In order to drink Juice you have to acquire it. The easiest way is at your local hippie store. They sell a 20 oz. freshly made juice concoction for 5-8 dollars. If this is the only way you intend to get at the richness of juice you will encounter 2 large obstacles. The first is having the riches to afford 12 servings a day, or 240 oz. of juice, or about 80 bucks. The second is wanting it fresh, so you'd have to hang out there with the hippies all day. Panhandling in front of natural food stores can be lucrative, but not 80 bucks a day lucrative.

The other avenue of bringing some of that fresh delicious nectar into your mouth is to make some at home. My friend, let's call her Heather since that's her real name, purchased one for $40. Juicers can sell for up to $500 new, and they're hard to find used since people love them. The more expensive juicers do two things better. They tend to extract more Juice from your vegetables. I'm juicing about $30 of vegetables a day and a cost savings could be found if the pulp came out drier. It would also be cheaper if I could get some free apples, but I haven't really tried yet. The second thing expensive juicers can do (the high end ones) is not heat the Juice. Slow, augur style Juicers extract more through smashing the produce than shredding them with blades. Heather's Juicer is a centrifuge-blade type, it does a decent job of extraction, and cost $40 instead of $400.

Here is an example of an afternoon Juice mix. beets, lemons, lemon cucumbers, garlic, carrots, celery, swiss chard, and an orange that was getting old on the counter.  I don't bother washing my produce or cutting it up any smaller than what's required to fit in the Juicer.  Oranges, melons, lemons, and garlic also don't have to be peeled, which is awesome about the garlic.  You might want to wash your produce if it isn't organic, but those pesticides are likely inside and won't wash off anyway.  No one wants to eat strawberries if the mexicans weren't wiping their asses while picking them, but you're racist if you think that.  I'm not afraid of produce unless it comes wrapped in a plastic bag.

Lots of greens at once can clog the juicer.

Shove some carrots or cucumbers in after the greens to clear them out.

Garlic likes lemons. The lemon juice cleans the blades of the garlic smell and helps get all the garlic essense into your juice. Works with giner too.

Douse the juicer with a couple ounces of water while its still on. Cleans it right out.

Juice and blog about it.

Day 3 of 10 (or 60) day Juice Fast

I have started a Juice Fast for an undecided period of time. Today is the beginning of day three. At this point I am confident in my ability to not black out, dive across the table for someone's food, hallucinate, or begin to levitate (though the latter may yet come). I am starting this blog to share information regarding the ins and outs, the ups and down, the strikes and gutters of eating nothing but Juice. Due to my already inexplicably good health, I did not consult a physician regarding the potential health effects of going on a cleanse. Medical know-it-all's would argue consultation of professional advice if you have: Obesity, heart problems, chronic smoker, drug addict, pharmaceutically laden, gastrointestinal issues, chronic migraines, annal leakage, or if you bleed from the eyes. My advice is that Juice is good, and you should drink it. Drink a lot of it.

My goals are really only to challenge myself. I am not overweight and most bi-standers have said I'm just right and will become skeletor-ish. I say pooh pooh to you. I might drop down 25 pounds, but my license says I'm 170 already. That's my minimum. I have no known cancers or diseases, though my past leg injuries occasionally bother me. I don't expect Juice to cure nerve pain, but it couldn't hurt. If in the end, I do nothing but excel to the level of Jack Lelanne and pull a boat across the English channel with my teeth at 90 years old, then I'm fine with that.  How healthy can one be?  How good could I feel?  That mountain doesn't look so tall.

Essentially I juice everyday, all day, and drink lots of water (>3quarts). I keep busy and may even go bicycleing if my tires will inflate. I am Juicing apples, carrots, beets, chard, kale, collards, celery, ginger, garlic, green cucumbers, lemon cucumbers, lemons, grapes, cantaloupe, plumbs, oranges, and other greens and fruits. I am using a garage sale juicer that does a decent job of extracting the juice and is easy to clean. I clean it after every use, which is upwards of seven times a day. I tend to juice fruits in the morning, and go heavy on the greens for the rest of the day. It is best to drink it within an hour or less of processing. You gotta capture that shit while its still alive and screaming.

I am not taking any supplements or other fake factory fabrications of health. I am drinking Juice. Today is day three. I will reassess on day ten and decide if I should go further. Further will be 30 or 60 days. Day 10 will also coincide with the start of the Great Reno Balloon Race, so I might take a break to get shitty drunk on champagne and glory.