FOOOOOD!

I want food.  I made it past day 3, the big hurdle day, and have energy and endurance, but I miss food.  Food is amazing.  It is rich and nourishing with complexity that entices us to enjoy and share.  The flavors and aromas fill the air of the world and I've spent a week with my olfactory glands going crazy.  My senses have been heightened so that everything smells distinct and memories flood back to be with certain scents.  This must be what its like to go on a diet.  I haven't considered this fast a diet in the traditional sense.  I feel and look better, but I haven't lost any weight.  I didn't have any to loose really.  Food is not just some satisfying nutrient ensemble which we need to survive.  Food is community and a connection we share with the sun, the rain, and the earth.  We share food at our tables, our eateries, our farms and gardens.  Holidays are centered around food, ceremoniously brought to the dinning table or picnic table.  Business deals are struck and relationships are created at the table.  The cooking of food, alongside those I have loved in life, is the greatest gift.

I like to think of the phrase Breaking Bread with a strong meaning of sharing.  A sourdough or french bread has a shelf life that is diminished when the loaf is broken open.  The loaf can retain its moisture for much longer with its crust intact, unbroken.  When time to sit and eat, the bread is broken and shared.  Saved for that moment with family, friends, or respected guests, the bread is eaten together and is a culmination of humanity.  From the wheat grown in the fields to the baker patiently kneading and raising the dough.  We mill and transport our grains to bring calories and tasteful substance to our community.  When we break bread, we create bonds.

I want some fucking bread.  I plan on finishing my 10 days, to continue and cleanse my body with a thorough washing of life saturated Juice.  But then I'm going to eat.  Not in a gluttonous, wanton, or wasteful manner, but perhaps a bit ceremoniously.  If food is a gift, it should not to be wasted on cheap heat-and-serve food or "food like" substance.  Food can be amazing or it can be a scientifically derived snack.  In Michael Pollan's book In Defense of Food, he states three rules to live by regarding food:  Eat real food, Not too much, Mostly plants.  I try to live by these, but I also include sharing meals and treating food as a ritual of community.  Its important.  I hope to share a meal with all those reading this sooner than later.

Day 6, I compete in a logging show

If my bike ride on Day 5 was a small testament to the power and energy that Juice can provide, then winning $400 at a logging show climbing trees, chopping wood, and sawing logs on day 6 is a monument to it. 

Paul Bunyan Days in Fort Bragg, CA holds and annual Labor Day celebration of Logging Heritage that includes an ol' time-y Lumber Jack Show.  The contest includes cash prizes for the contestants and has a crowd that fills the bleacher with thousands.  I competed in all the events that day and placed in two for cash, the Pole Climb and the Choker Race.  Both events were decided by only one second, though I was on the slow end of that one second decision for first and second.  The pole climb was for about 40 feet up a slick green Douglas-fir to the top where a bell is rung.  I managed 10 seconds, while the winner bested me with 9.  The Choker Race can best be described as an obstacle course that includes hurdling 4 foot high logs and running with a large 20 pound steel cable in your hands.  The goal is to run, get the choker, run back, and set the choker around a log.  I took second place again, this time 14 seconds to first places 13.  The other events of the day I didn't fair so well in, placing beyond 5th in each, putting me out of the money.  A great day all around though, with ample energy coursing though my veins from JUICE!

The day began with a 3 hour truck ride from Eureka on an empty stomach.  I managed to get amped at a friends house upon reaching Fort Bragg with carrots, apples, peaches, cucumber, and ginger.  About 2 quarts of juice made me through the day until about 2 o'clock when reinforcements arrived in the form of pure Carrot Juice!  I pounded the Juice and, upon drinking it, managed to get my 2 second place finishes of the day.  If that isn't a monumental statement to the Nay-Say-ers of "Fuck Juicing, I need energy" than I don't know what is.

A warning to those who read my last blog entry and desire to juice hot peppers.  I made another tomato based juice for the ride home and added a Serrano pepper.  Not a good idea.  It was a too much for my stomach to handle and gave me the feeling you get when you eat a raw habanero off the plant.  For those who have never done that, it feels like you have an ulcer.  For those who don't have ulcers, it feels like you have a colony of acid fleshed ants crawling around in your stomach.  I think for my next hot pepper juice I'm going to cut out the inside of the pepper and remove the seeds like the white boy I am.  Without fibrous foods in your stomach I think its a little dangerous.

Holy Hot Pepper Batman!

The Arcata farmer's market is a shit show of humanity. The Juggling guy on a unicycle, Brazilian drums lines, “art” peddlers, farmers in their stalls, and always some dude in a trance doing a trace dance without a shirt. Someone give that man a crystal for christ sake! The farmers try to take the spotlight with their fruits, vegetables, starts, and cut flowers, but we're all their for the same thing. Beautiful Women. Its best not to arrive until after noon. That's when the crowd gets there, and if you're lucky, the sun will be kind enough to burn off the fog and the before mentioned beautiful women will take off their sweaters and leggings.

I managed to acquire some smiles and looks from many in the crowd, old college friends included, for my dazzling cowboy hat and radiant smile. The smile I can no doubt thank the juice for since all day I have glowed to the reflection of my inner-self outward. Not only does Juice make you feel great, it makes you write sentences like that last one. With my trusted Juice in hand, an apple lemon ginger concoction, I made my rounds past the numerous farmer's stalls looking for deals on bulk grade B produce.

My big score of the day was a bunch of apples for a buck a pound from an old woman. I bought her out! I like buying my produce from the smaller farmers who have the least to sell. She was glad to sell them and even gladder to hear I was juicing. My next big score were some hot peppers, mostly jalapeno, with a few spicier ones to round out the flavor of this evenings virgin bloody mary. Quite good by the way, and a delicious addition to last nights already smash hit. I believe, and will stand by this statement at least until I deal with the fire dragon that might visit me later, that drinking spicy pepper juice while juicing makes the whole experience worth it. Who on earth would juice a jalapeno? This guy. 

Some of the apples, a large honeydew, more tomatoes to keep this mock-tail train moving, and some of my spicy peppers!

Juicing requires a huge input of vegetables to keep the feelings of starvation at bay.  If you don't believe me you should see the pulp in my compost pile.  The farmer's market is a great way to get a ton of produce directly from the farmer while paying a reasonable price.  An even better option would be getting involved in a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture), where you pick up a box of produce every week from the farm.  Some CSA's are paid for in advance of the season and others are week to week.  Either way you provide the farmer with steady income from contracted buyers.  The best way of course is to grow all your produce yourself.  Its free, easy, and can be done in any small space.  And you can always pick up something you didn't grow at the farmer's market as an excuse to check out the Beautiful Women.

The Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul

Water and Tea are crucial to the Juice man. I had headaches on day one and two. I wondered if these were from caffeine withdrawal, a juice high, my fatty brain tissue deteriorating, spirits speaking to me from another dimension, a puzzle that wore on me for some time. I know what dehydration feels like though, and after some time to consider it, I realized I needed to drink more water. Water is refreshing, it brings life and allows organisms to metabolize. Without water all that Juice and its plethora of nutrients and vitamins were going into my body without sufficient liquids to carry them off to my organs. The first sign of dehydration is thirst, but drinking a ton of Juice everyday diminishes that ever so natural feeling. The second sign of dehydration is chapped or parched lips, though again, my whistle was wet as a one being blown by a lifeguard on a crowded beach. The third and most awful sign of dehydration is a headache. These can be ignored because they are casual headaches, not like a migraine that is an all encompassing cloud of pain and sorrow. A slight discomfort of the frontal lobe, with vision and fast movements being shitty. Sort of like a hangover. Actually, its really like a hangover. Frankly a hangover is mostly dehydration mixed with toxic poisoning. On day three I started to drink more water, and on day four I realized I should drink just as much water as the amount of juice I'm drinking. A little easier said then done, but if you take a bottle of water everywhere you go, it makes the act of drinking it easier. I have often been in the camp of water chugger. Walk to the sink, fill a glass, down it, and repeat. I'm attempting to do both activities. Chug and Go we might call it.

Tea presents another hydrating possibility. I was offered tea on day two but didn't know if I should include it in my cleanse. Its not Juice, its not beer (medication), and its served hot to warm. Should I allow this inroad to my otherwise strict diet? The answer came to me from my inner Buddha who said, drink that shit. It's delicious, liquid, and is essentially the juice of dried herbs and stuff. I'm speaking of Herbal Infusions of course, not to be confused with black, white, green, red, twig, or pu'erh teas of the caffeinated variety. Herbal tea is a wide array of herbs that people steep hot water onto and is filled with rich ingredients that assist the body and general hippidy dippity wellness. So why not? It beats having just beets for breakfast. Plus the denial of coffee, my warm liquid of choice in the morning takes a psychological toll.

My tea of choice this morning is a blend of Chrysanthemum, Camomile, and Hibiscus, notice the coffee carafe in its sorrowful neglected state. Sad face.

Enjoy thy self.

Virgin Bloody Mary

So, I'm not going to say I haven't had any beer. That would be lying. I have. It got me drunk quick too. I feel full and satisfied with all this juice, but my beer is my medication. A physician wouldn't deny his patients his meds while he's on a fast, come on! I'm having to stick to a strict regiment to keep this whole thing going. I had two beers while watching the giants play on day 1. Then on day 2, an invite presented itself to go out to dinner. I brought juice and ordered a beer while I watched her eat pizza in front of me. Last night the giants played as well, so beer was in order. These discretionary measures I have taken during the course of my journey have been what I thought was best. We should always do what we think is best, dogma be damned.

Tonight however, I am going to refrain from my medication and simply have a virgin bloody mary. The thought was presented by a colleague of mine who just finished seven weeks of cleansing (Who-Ray Angeline!). She sent a few interesting recipes my way that were her favorites. I haven't done any recipes exactly, mostly winging it. There ain't rules you know. Looking at recipes are always good though, especially if your trying to bake something and want bread to rise. So I took a look at hers.

Bloody Caesar (tastes like a yummy virgin bloody Mary!)
Ingredients:
1 large tomato
1/2 green bell pepper
1 celery stalk
1 clove garlic
2 carrots
1 teaspoon Worcestershire
Splash Tabasco or tapitio

My ingredients looked like this.

Essentially a pile of tomatoes, a bunch of celery, a bundle of cilantro, a bag of green beans, and I wish I had a pepper to make it spicy but I didn't. I refused to add Worcestershire or tapatio. If I start down the condiment path now, who knows where it will lead. Some lines are meant to be crossed, others are not.

I did not eat the stalk of chard. A plain garnish used to stir the juice, as it can separate readily.

Day 4. Juice is good for you.

Juice fills the body with nutrients. Instead of trying to consume a bucket of vegetables, you suck out their essence. Like how corporations devour the souls of young college graduates. You can consume a truck load of vegetables in a matter of days by avoiding all the fiber. Less calories per intake, means drinking frequently and regularly. There are an abundance of nutrients out there to consume via vegetables. And no matter what people tell you about B-12 and the likes of nutrient deficiencies, its all propaganda and lies. Its best not to trust anyone who has a desire to break plants down into their constituent parts, measure them, calculate their values, gauge their effectiveness, belittle their completeness. Its like eating a bunch of vitamin C pills, you end up just pissing it right out. Plants, and their Juice essence, can provide a digestible banquet of all those numbers and letters on the side of a box of “food”. My favorite analogy, although it doesn't involve vegetables, is non fat milk or lean meat. In order to digest the protein, you need to burn readily available calories. Do you really think your gut just pulls the fat from your ass to break down the protein? Fuck no! Nothing breaks down, it turns indigestible and screws up the works. Nutritionists don't know shit and create propaganda to sell the industries products to the masses.

I've drank juice for a long time, enjoying the high it gives. The high it gives from energy and the belief I hold of it filling me with health and vigor. Belief is a powerful thing, like a placebo, but with real medicine, the belief focuses and empowers the medicines effectiveness. I watched a movie on Hulu.com titled Fat Sick and Nearly Dead. Its in the documentary section of Hulu and is free to watch. It has a powerful twist at the end with the introduced characters, and shows how pharmaceuticals are ineffective and complete bullshit. You should watch it. Really.

My third day went well, I did some chores, drove around, shot some guns, watched the giants, a fairly normal day. Taking advantage of not spending money on booze and dining out, I have been buying a wide assortment of produce. Up next for juicing will be tomatoes, peppers, onions, and parsley for a make-shift virgin mary. Exciting. I'll post pictures soon.

The Process

In order to drink Juice you have to acquire it. The easiest way is at your local hippie store. They sell a 20 oz. freshly made juice concoction for 5-8 dollars. If this is the only way you intend to get at the richness of juice you will encounter 2 large obstacles. The first is having the riches to afford 12 servings a day, or 240 oz. of juice, or about 80 bucks. The second is wanting it fresh, so you'd have to hang out there with the hippies all day. Panhandling in front of natural food stores can be lucrative, but not 80 bucks a day lucrative.

The other avenue of bringing some of that fresh delicious nectar into your mouth is to make some at home. My friend, let's call her Heather since that's her real name, purchased one for $40. Juicers can sell for up to $500 new, and they're hard to find used since people love them. The more expensive juicers do two things better. They tend to extract more Juice from your vegetables. I'm juicing about $30 of vegetables a day and a cost savings could be found if the pulp came out drier. It would also be cheaper if I could get some free apples, but I haven't really tried yet. The second thing expensive juicers can do (the high end ones) is not heat the Juice. Slow, augur style Juicers extract more through smashing the produce than shredding them with blades. Heather's Juicer is a centrifuge-blade type, it does a decent job of extraction, and cost $40 instead of $400.

Here is an example of an afternoon Juice mix. beets, lemons, lemon cucumbers, garlic, carrots, celery, swiss chard, and an orange that was getting old on the counter.  I don't bother washing my produce or cutting it up any smaller than what's required to fit in the Juicer.  Oranges, melons, lemons, and garlic also don't have to be peeled, which is awesome about the garlic.  You might want to wash your produce if it isn't organic, but those pesticides are likely inside and won't wash off anyway.  No one wants to eat strawberries if the mexicans weren't wiping their asses while picking them, but you're racist if you think that.  I'm not afraid of produce unless it comes wrapped in a plastic bag.

Lots of greens at once can clog the juicer.

Shove some carrots or cucumbers in after the greens to clear them out.

Garlic likes lemons. The lemon juice cleans the blades of the garlic smell and helps get all the garlic essense into your juice. Works with giner too.

Douse the juicer with a couple ounces of water while its still on. Cleans it right out.

Juice and blog about it.